2) Based on the feedback, I received positive reviews on my updated introduction. In my second elevator pitch, I decided to insert a segment in the beginning where I introduce my name---I was told that this made it more personable and attention-grabbing. Other feedback that was stood out as important to me was regarding the end portion of the pitch. I made the change to ask for "another meeting" rather than for them to "join me" because the latter expression made it seem like I already had a product configured. Lastly, I was told that my delivery (tone and pace) and statistical information really aided in solidifying the pitch overall.
3) According to the feedback, it was suggested that I elaborate more on the risks posed to roofers who are struck by lightning (and scale down the information regarding pricing components at the end). Since this is only my elevator pitch, I was told that it seemed to premature to include details about pricing already. So, on this third attempt at my pitch, I made sure to focus more on the problems that roofers face due to hazardous weather conditions. Aside from this feedback, I was told that the pitch overall seemed really strong!
Hi Michael!
ReplyDeleteI believe I mentioned before that I love the story hook in the beginning, and I still do! It really grabs the viewer and ropes them in! With this, the statistics really show that you are credible in this field and gives the viewer real world facts. I saw how you added more about the health risks to the roofers, I believe the only slight fix would be to slow down. Take a few pauses to let the viewer settle and take on what you just said, especially around that statistics. Besides that great work!!
Hi Michael,
ReplyDeleteThe information about the revenue in the roofing market is powerful in defining the market for your product before defining the problem itself. I believe this would capture the attention of those who do not experience this problem, but would be interested given the size of the market for the product. It also reveals that, as a safety measure, we need to protect this industry from harm as it turns great profit. Your delivery is engaging and concise, and your gestures are not distracting. I think it benefited your video to avoid pricing strategy quite yet and highlight the demand for the product. Great overall production quality.
Hey Michael!! Great job on this elevator pitch!! Right off the bat, you have an amazing sense of confidence. Your confidence helps establish your credibility and allows the listener to be actively engaged with your pitch. You have exhibited so much growth from your first elevator pitch to your third one. Props to you and keep up the great work!
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